Matthew (a.k.a Levi), a former tax collector, reflects on Jesus’ story:

Oh, I really loved this story that Jesus told.  Of course, I would; having been a tax collector myself!

When Jesus came to this bit of the story, I am sure I saw turn him wink at me!   He and I both knew I could relate to what he was saying… in fact it might have been me he was describing!  And once again I was overwhelmed with gratitude for how he reached out, welcomed and accepted even me. 

I still can’t believe it happened.  I was at work that day, back in Capernaum, going about my despised business.  But that did not put him off.  He strode straight up to me and invited me to join him.  Me!  A tax collector!  A collaborator!  A traitor!   

I could tell by their faces that some of his followers could not quite believe what they were hearing! I can’t blame them!   At first, I though it a joke – and one that was going to going to end badly for me.  I was convinced I was being set up to be utterly humiliated; I’d end up ‘with egg on my face’, as the saying goes.   

But it didn’t take long for me to see that Jesus was serious. He was genuinely inviting me to follow him.  Me!  But, how could I?   Believe you me, I knew who I was and what I had done.  I despised myself even more than any of them could ever despise me.  A big part of me told me that this was all wrong; Jesus should not be interested in the likes of me. I did not deserve the friendship he was offering.   But still he reached out and accepted me as I am:  the man in his story, who can only come humbly, crying to God for mercy.

I think Jesus and I have an understanding that others of his followers find hard to latch on to.  In fact, it might be the biggest mistake people make about what he truly stands for.  People think that following Jesus is all about being good.  Doing the right thing.  Being respectable.  But that is not the mainthing he is on about.   The most important thing he has come to tell us is about what happens when we are not good….  When we discover that, in all honesty, we simply cannot be good….  When all we can do is look at ourself in the mirror and cry ‘failure’ – sure that is the end of it for us with God.   With heads held low, all we can hope for is mercy.  But it is then….  THEN…  when we are on our knees in brokenness, that we are made right with God, Jesus tells us. 

Time and time again Jesus repeats this, but still we persist in trying to justify ourselves! Believe you me, I for one, know that I can’t!   And, thanks to Jesus, I now know I don’t have to!  Jesus is the doctor who comes to heal those who are sick, not those who think they are well.  He is the shepherd, devoted to seeking out his lost sheep.  The choir master of heaven, leading the joyful singing over one sinner who repents. 

Yes, I know this, because, I am one of them.  A grateful sinner, who finds himself loved and accepted, not condemned.  I am Forgiven – my guilt wiped away.  I have been saved and restored by grace.  Completely, fully and only by grace.

That is what some of us – like the pharisee in this story – just cannot understand.

You may think that Jesus went a little over the top in drawing his picture of the pharisee.   Alright, so he was ‘hamming it up’ a bit.  Any good story teller would.  It’s a good technique to draw a stark contrast between characters.  But, as a former tax-collector myself, I tell you, there is a lot of truth in the (albeit exaggerated) description he gives.  I have seen their sneers, heard the slurs, felt their snubs.  By and large I’ve only been dealt rudeness and hostility by them.  That’s if they actually have to have anything to do with me. Usually, they avoid the likes of us like the plague!

So, I was glad to hear Jesus having a go at them.   His caricature was hilarious… so pompous and so proud.  This man was literally full of himself – he came to God reading is own CV, rather than praying in any meaningful way at all.   “I’ve done this.  Never done that.   I’ve Excelled in my duty.  I’ve prayed and given to charity.  Never missed church.  Never killed anyone. Never even hurt a fly.  Never been greedy or cheated anyone.  Never once committed adultery.  Been perfectly respectful – an all-round really good egg.   Unlike some people.  Unlike that one over there!  We all know what that one is like, don’t we?  But God, please note, I really am not like him!”

Of course, that hurt, because I was the one the self-righteous so and so was pointing at!   As if he knew me or anything about me!  His presumption made me so angry.   Why do those who pride themselves in being ‘good and respectable’ always have to be putting other people down?   Are they really so insecure?  Are their egos so small?  And, if all they can say is, ‘thank God I’m not like that one over there’ are they really claiming anything much at all?!   Does, ‘I’ve never murdered anyone’ or any outlandish claim like that really gain us many brownie points with God?   Maybe it’s a mistake for any of us to compare ourselves with others.  Are they really the standard by which we are measured?   Even Jesus asked why they called him good, reminding us that there is only one who is good, and that is God.

Now Jesus has to be the best person I have ever known.   He is the truest, most authentic human being I think there can be.  

What I really love about Jesus is that there is not one hint of self-righteousness about him.

He’s not at all religious.  In fact, he laughs at those who like to think they are!   

Neither is he in any way superior.  He’s quick to find a way to burst the bubble of those who believe themselves ‘better’.  I’d go so far as to say he hates entitlement and snobbishness of any kind.

And He’s neither frightened of or put off by a person’s rank or status.  He takes each person as he finds them, appreciating those who are genuine and authentic, whoever they may be.

In this, he is not only unconventional, he is radical and revolutionary.  What he promises is a world turned upside down; a great reversal where the proud are put down and the humble lifted high.  I’m told his Mum composed a song about that when she knew she was expecting him. He’s truly lived up to her expectations and I, for one, delight in that. 

So,

Way to go, Jesus: You really put that smug mug in his place!

Pompous, self-righteous and judgemental; you showed him up, for real!

I’m so glad I am nothing like him…I don’t do what he does, and in so many ways I am better than hi…

Oh dear!  Did I really just say that? 

I think I must think it out again!