Simon the Zealot understands what others fail to see:

(The zealots were a political movement in first century Israel committed to the overthrow of Roman rule. Extremely zealous about this (hence the name), they were the freedom-fighters of their day. Some might think of them as terrorists. The ‘brotherhood’ referred to below would be their group meeting. Such was the amazing draw of Jesus that his disciples included both former freedom fighters and collaborators such as tax collectors!)

I am not surprised that Jesus ended up talking about preparing for battle, because, quite honestly, I was there already!   The moment he started to speak like this, I was transported back to meetings of the brotherhood with tales of past uprisings and the speeches recounted of generals preparing their men for battle.  Every time, they stirred the hearts of men facing almost certain death; promising nothing, demanding everything, offering, in that moment, a chance to rise and stand heroically or walk away and live a half-life of regret and sorrow, safe and unharmed, but with something dead and diminished deep inside.  Like salt that isn’t salty anymore, as Jesus said, that life would be worthless.

Not everyone’s hearts and minds soared as did mine at Jesus’ words.    Many in the crowd, and even among the disciples, were shocked and horrified.  Some tripped up on the details, focusing on his words, not his tone. Some baulked at the enormity of his demands.  Others were bewildered as they wondered why he turned on the following crowd and questioned their loyalty when they were there, weren’t they, with him on the road to Jerusalem?

Let’s be fair, it was right of Jesus to challenge those who were following.  What did they expect?  A picnic in the park?  Surely, they had to see that there was a cost involved in following Jesus.  His way would not be easy. The journey would involve struggle and even strife.  So, best to count the cost and be sure you can pay it, Jesus was saying. Have you not seen the countless ruins of never completed buildings – their decaying foundations forever taunting the over-ambitious plans of their designers, a constant reminder of those who just could not follow through?   Worse still, how many battlefields are lined with the corpses of hapless soldiers, caught up in the folly of blind and foolish leaders who failed to calculate the impossible odds and charged right in, rather than suing for peace as wisdom demanded?  Years later the stripped bones and rusting swords still stick out of the ground, a sombre memorial, telling a sorry story. How important it is to stop and count the cost.

There were some among us who questioned Jesus’ wisdom in saying this.  “We need as many on board as possible – the more the better – why does he want to go and put them off like that?”   Clearly, they have not read enough history!   Or even their scriptures, if we take Gideon for example! Big is not always better.  A flabby and unprepared army can be taken down by just a few good men who are battle ready and wholly committed to their cause.

Most, however, accepted the wisdom of counting the cost – it was all the talk that came before that they struggled with. Talk of hate.  Jesus demanding that we must hate our fathers and mothers, our wives and children, even ourselves, if we are going to follow him and be his disciples.  That was so shocking, so alien and so out of keeping with everything else they had ever heard from Jesus that it was anathema to them.  So it should be, if that is what Jesus meant. But it wasn’t like that at all.  They should have been with us to hear the speeches of ancient generals and they would understand.  The seriousness of the moment demands extreme language!  When nothing less than 100% is demanded, you cannot soft pedal your appeal.  If its ‘do or die’ then nothing should stop you in the doing.  Great loves… family ties… everything has to be set aside and sacrificed for that moment. Even our own lives if necessary.  That’s what has always inspired me. That’s what true heroism is about.

And Jesus is calling for such heroism from his disciples.  Or, such commitment at least.  Following him may have many benefits (being with him the chief one of all!)  and Jesus promises so much when his Kingdom comes.  But it is not without its cost.  Standing for his Kingdom will lead to attacks from many sides. Even fighting with the weapons of love, as Jesus demands, we can be hurt and injured. We have to be prepared for that. Only then, can we honestly take up our cross and follow him.

So, while others baulked as they debated his choice of words, my heart soared as his speech called out the best in me. I surrender my life.  I will love him more than anything.  I will sacrifice all I have for him.   I will rise with him and any scars I may receive will be glorious. They will be like his.