Note from the author: I never set out to make this blog follow the lectionary, but some of you have said how helpful it is when it does. Sorry, I’ve strayed a bit this time. To my mind the lectionary does a ridiculous thing this week. It takes the meat out of the sandwich! It does this because it plans to use Johns version of the feeding of the five thousand next week, but I really think that does Marks narrative a dis-service. I believe the whole of verses 30-56 belong together and that is how I’ve dealt with them. The good news is that it may help with your preparation for two weeks!

Philip reflects on an amazing event

      Have you ever been asked to do something impossible?   How did it make you feel?  

      If you are anything like me, your first response will be excitement, quickly followed by bewilderment and perhaps despair.  Excitement because you like a challenge and love to dream: What if, eh?   What if it could be done?  What if you did it?   Wouldn’t that be something!   Then the bubble bursts and you come down to earth with a bump as you realise that what is being just can’t be done.  Not by you.  Not, as far as you know, by anyone.  It’s impossible.  And yes, there is such a word!   And, if someone asks you to do the impossible, then what is really going on? 

Is it some kind of a test, or what?  Hence the bewilderment and then the despair: If you really can’t do what is being asked of you, you’re in a predicament, aren’t you?  Somewhere, deep down inside, you know that things aren’t going to end well!

      Well, that’s how I felt, yesterday.

      The first impossibility we faced was getting away from that crowd.   This really is impossible!  We just cannot shake them off.  They even found us over here, when we had tried to escape by boat, can you believe it?! 

      Wherever we go, they always find us; demanding our time and energy.  Some days we don’t even get time to eat, let alone rest.  That’s why Jesus suggested the boat trip in the first place: he saw that we were flagging and needed some space.  But it didn’t work, did it?   They still discovered our whereabouts us, and flocked to us in their thousands!  And, as usual, there was no chance that Jesus was going to send them packing.  “Look at them, lads,” he said with feeling, “they are like sheep, lost without a shepherd!”  So, he sat down to teach them and we went hungry again.

      The teaching lasted all day and, as the time passed, we became aware of a second impossibility: feeding them!  If we hadn’t had time for food, then neither had the crowd; and some of them had been walking all day to follow us round the lake.  It was clear that, if we didn’t send them off to the surrounding towns and villages soon, their chances of buying anything would be gone.  So, we urged Jesus to do just that.  But do you know what?  The impossible man refused!

      “No!  You give them something to eat!” he demanded.

      Can you believe that?  What was he on about?  Jesus set us not only a logistical nightmare, but a very costly one at that.   Did he really mean us to spend what would amount to half a year’s pay to feed these thoughtless travelers?   For a start, we didn’t have it and for seconds, how we were expected to carry that lot back here anyway?  Impossible!

      “OK, so what have you got?” Jesus asked us again.

      Five bread rolls and two fish; that was all we could find.  Enough to make a reasonable picnic for one or two people, but for this crowd?  Never!    It seemed so pathetically inadequate. And, when he insisted that we sit the people down ready to eat, I felt such hopeless embarrassment.  This had to be some kind of set up, didn’t it?  Some kind of joke or something? 

      But if it was a joke, I sensed it was not one that would go down too well with the crowd.   Picturing our pathetic little offering, I was certain this was going to be a public relations disaster, at the very least.  Perhaps worse.  I don’t like crowds at the best of times; they can be so unpredictable.  I have seen how they can turn in a moment.  And right now, with next to nothing in my hands, I felt so very vulnerable.   It was as though we were being fed to the piranhas; I knew it would only take one to turn and bite and then a feeding frenzy would begin!

      As I went about organizing the crowd in groups as Jesus suggested (50 here, 100 there), I entered a most surreal state of being. Perhaps it was the heightened adrenalin, but my senses seemed to become so much more sensitive.  I could hear almost every breathe and whisper, and then I noticed the colour – so vibrant, so lush.  It was the grass, believe it or not – so green!  I can’t remember the last time I saw it like that.  It only happens for a short period each year; around Passover time; after the spring rains but before the summer sun scorches it brown again.

      “Ha!” I thought, “If these people really were sheep, we’d have no trouble feeding them on this, would we?  They could munch away to their hearts content!”   Perhaps I could wave a magic wand and transform them all into the woolly creatures?  Problem solved!  But where is the genie in the lantern when you need one, eh?   In your dreams, mate!  In your dreams!

      Clicking back to reality, I sensed that the moment had come.  I turned to watch Jesus take the bread, lift it up for heaven’s blessing, then break it and start handing it out to us for distribution.

Sheepishly, we took it and went out into the crowd.  Like lambs led to the slaughter, we said not a word…

      And we were silent again when we returned.  Only not out of fear and resignation this time; we were dumfounded!  Our minds were simply unable to process what had happened.  It was impossible!  And yet all five thousand men, and their women and children, had eaten their fill.  And so had we!  More than that, in our hands, we each carried a basket full of left overs: twelve in all!   How can five small loaves and two fish turn into twelve baskets full of leftovers?!  I just don’t understand.  It just does not happen like that!

       But it did!

      Then, and only then, the impossible man finally decided to send the crowd away!  He dispatched us too, off in the boat, headed for home.  Said he would walk and catch us up later.  He did too – but you are never going to believe me when I tell you where.  We couldn’t believe it either. 

      It seemed as if making any headway against the wind and current was going to be impossible.  We rowed and rowed, but the land seemed just as distant each time we looked up to check.  We were still rowing as it grew dark.  And then, what must have been several hours later, we saw it following us across the water.  Our minds told us it was impossible, such things do not exist, but our eyes told us something different, and our hearts froze.  Yes, we really did think we were seeing a ghost!  And some of us screamed.

      It wasn’t a ghost, of course, but something equally as unnerving, just as impossible.  There, walking on the water, was Jesus. 

       He didn’t put on a show of it.  No theatrics or anything to draw attention to what he was doing.  In fact, he seemed to hardly notice us and went as if to pass by, as though what he was doing was a natural thing to do, deserving no second thought or comment at all!   It was only when he heard our cries of anxiety and bewilderment that he came and climbed into the boat to calm us.

      What on earth was going on?  What does all this mean?   Twice in one day, he has done the

impossible; breaking the laws of nature before our very eyes.  Breaking them as easily as he crumbled the loaves in his hands.  Breaking them as though he has the power to simply do as he will.   I mean, who on earth is this man?   Don’t ask me to tell you.  I just don’t know!  Right now, I find it impossible to even begin to imagine, don’t you?

      But one thing I have been wondering (whether or not this is really possible, I just don’t know):  You know that 100’s and 50’s thing, where Jesus told us to sit everyone down in groups like that?  Well, isn’t that what they Israel did back in the days of Moses, splitting the people into more manageable groups, when God fed his people in the wilderness?   Moses, in his time, had delegated his work to others, just as Jesus delegated to us now.  And later, as his end was near, Moses had prayed to God to provide a successor; Why? So that Israel won’t be ‘like a sheep without a shepherd’!  

As I mused about this, I remembered that Ezekiel picked up on this same shepherd theme. In condemning the leaders of God’s people, he promised a ‘good shepherd’ who, unlike them, would truly care for his people.  And, ‘green grass’ was promised there, too: “There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel”. (Ezekiel 34:14)

      Do you see where I am going with this talk of God as a shepherd?  And with thoughts of lying down in good pasture, or on green grass… being fed through God’s provision?  You know the hymn, don’t you: “The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.  He makes me lie down in green pastures…”? That song goes on to tell how he prepares a table, and sets out a banquet…. It’s Psalm 23, isn’t it?  And, suddenly, the feeding I witnessed is linked to one of the greatest expressions of God’s love and support ever written!  

And what Jesus did yesterday, at this Passover time, places his doings in the context of a much bigger story – the story of Gods rescue plan for humanity.  That story comes with the promise that his lost sheep will at last get their Good Shepherd; the true Shepherd of Israel, the Messiah!

      Go on – tell me I am reading too much into this, if you want!  Tell me it’s impossible that this carpenter’s son from Galilee could ever be God’s Anointed One!  Tell me it’s impossible … and I’ll point you back to every impossible thing we have seen in the last day or so; indeed, throughout our whole time with Jesus!  

      I am stunned by what I have witnessed.  But this is the thought that is really troubling my mind today: What if…?  Could it be …?   Is it just possible that Jesus might be the One?

Lord, when was the last time we stopped and truly marvelled at the things you do?

When were we last gob-smacked?  Silenced by awe and wonder?

Surprise us, we pray, with your unexpected power and presence.

Blow our minds away and leave us gasping in wonder.

And let us not be afraid of the new things you want to do in our lives…

Things we may not have thought or imagined possible before.

Help us to keep our hearts and minds open

that we may see your miracles,

your new creation

and your eternal kingdom breaking into our lives and our world.

Amen